Topic(s): Evidences, Science

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree,
Discussing things as they ought to be.
Said one to the other, “Now listen you two,
There’s a certain rumor that can’t be true,

That man descended from our noble race.
The very idea is a disgrace.
No monkey ever deserted his wife,
starved her babies, and ruined her life.

And you have never known a mother monk
To leave her babies with others to bunk,
Or pass them on from one to another,
Till they hardly know who is their mother.

And another thing you never see.
A monk build a fence around a coconut tree,
And let the coconuts go to waste,
Forbidding all other monks to taste.

Here is another thing a monk won’t do:
Go out at night and get on a stew,
Or use a gun or club or a knife
To take another monkey’s life.

Yes man descended, the ornery cuss,
But brother, he didn’t descend from us!

—Author Unknown (from Dear Abby—Keepers Booklet)

“Let us do good unto all men . . .” —Galatians 6:10

Do I have to go to church?

Topic(s): Church, Priorities, Worship

• Do you have to hug your little children?
• Do you have to remember your wife’s birthday?
• Do you have to call home when you’re late coming home from work?
• Do you have to buy Christmas gifts for your family?
• Do you have to attend ball games and band functions in which your children are involved?
• Do you have to attend the funeral of a close friend or loved one?
• Do you have to say, “I love you” when you love someone? —Steve Higginbotham

“I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of the Lord.” —Psalm 122:1

Some Headlines We’d Like to See This Year

Topic(s): Moral Issues, Sin

Crime Wave Plummets as Nation Turns to God
Millions turn to Jesus; Huge crowds on Sundays

Elected Officials Turn Salaries Over to Poor
“They need it more than we do,” says wealthy senator.

Pornography Stores and Movies Close in Record Numbers
“People aren’t interested anymore,” complains adult bookstore owner.

Drug Dealers Seek Honest Occupations
“So many people have quit, there’s no money in it anymore,” complains a former drug lord.

Peace Comes to the Middle East
Terrorist attacks ease as peace reigns.

Nationwide Trend: Teenagers Stop Smoking
Tobacco companies complain of record losses.

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” —Galatians 5:22–23

Preacher on the Loose

Topic(s): Humor

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, “If he gets loose, will he hurt us?” —David L. Roper, “Kids of the Kingdom”

Well said: “All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine . . .” —Proverbs 17:22