• Film projectors always work before the class or meeting begins.

• The probability of the preacher tripping over the microphone cord is greater on “Bring A Friend” Sunday than any other week.

• The likelihood of a child’s giving a humorous response is directly proportional to the seriousness of the discussion.

• The largest Bible class will show up when the teacher feels his/her worst.

• No matter how many bulletins you print, you’ll always need one more.

• A member living 15 miles away will be 15 minutes early; members living two blocks away will be 15 minutes late.

• Saying “Let us pray” or singing “Just As I Am” causes babies to cry.

• The shorter the agenda, the longer the business meeting.

• When you answer the Bible teacher’s question right, nobody remembers; when you are wrong, nobody forgets.

• The longest Scripture readings always come with the longest sermons.

• The furnace only fails when the outside temperature is more than 20 degrees below zero. The air conditioner only fails when the outside temperature is 90 degrees or above.

• When the preacher misspeaks in a sermon, at least half of those taking notes will write the remark down as an important thought from the sermon.

Smile. It increases your face value!

“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine” (Proverbs 15:13).