Date Rape and the Bible: Part 3

Allen Webster

Topic(s): Moral Issues, Sin

Links to this entire series:

• Date Rape and the Bible: Part 1
• Date Rape and the Bible: Part 2
• Date Rape and the Bible: Part 3
• Date Rape and the Bible: Part 4
• Date Rape and the Bible : Part 5

You may feel alone, but you are not. Christ is with you every step of the way (Matthew 28:20). Your parents are with you (Ephesians 6:4). Your church is with you (1 Timothy 3:15). Your true Christian friends are with you (1 Samuel 23:16). Even a segment of society is with you. For instance, former Miss America (2003), Erika Herald wrote,

Ever since I can remember, I’ve had a commitment to abstinence. I was fortunate enough to have been raised by two loving parents who encouraged me to set high standards, to value myself, and to save myself for marriage. But I grew up knowing that I was lucky and that not every young person had the love and support that I did. I saw many of my peers use sex to try to find that love and acceptance. But instead of being able to fill that void, many of them became teen parents, contracted diseases, and had their hearts broken.[1]

Erika is a Phi Beta Kappa graduate of the University of Illinois and was a member of  USA Today’s 2000 All-USA College Academic Team. This three-time member of the National Dean’s List was accepted to Harvard Law School, where she began her studies in the fall of 2004.[2]

She discussed her platform on nationally broadcasted programs including the O’Reilly Factor, Good Morning America and CNN. Erika promoted the benefits of abstinence from sex, drugs, and alcohol to thousands of students, parents, school officials, and community members. She even presented written testimony to the Congressional Record, chronicling her experiences as an abstinence educator.

Freedoms of Sexual Abstinence

• Freedom from the physical dangers of multiple partner sex: sexually transmitted diseases, cancer of the cervix, and unwanted pregnancy.
• Freedom from the problems of birth control: the pill and its side effects, the IUD and its risks.
• Freedom from the pressure to marry too soon.
• Freedom from the pain of giving your baby up for adoption.
• Freedom from exploiting others or being exploited by others and all the emotions that come with it—guilt, doubt, worry, disappointment, anger, and rejection.
• Freedom to be in control of your body.
• Freedom to get to know your dating partner as a person.
• Freedom to be in control of your life and your future—not to have it disrupted by pregnancy or disease.
• Freedom to respect yourself.
• Freedom to look forward to marriage and not be haunted by the “ghosts” of past sexual relationships.
• Freedom to enjoy being a teenager, with many boy-girl relationships.
• Freedom to form a strong marriage bond with one person for a lifetime—in other words, abstinence before marriage leads to greater trust, commitment, and faithfulness in marriage.[3]

Know your self-worth (Mark 12:31). You are valued so highly by your family that they would spend every last penny to see you safe and in good health if your life was threatened. You are valued by society. As you enter the workforce you will contribute more than a million dollars to our nation’s economy over the next thirty to fifty years. Most important, you are valued by the God who made you, loves you, and gave His Son for you. You are a child of the King! Paul wrote, “Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ” (Galatians 4:7).

If you know your worth, then you won’t give in to society’s myths. For instance, 25 percent of men surveyed believed that rape was acceptable if the man pays for the date.[4] If a man feels you “owe him something” in return for paying for a date, he is mistaken. If a man feels that way, then he should date a prostitute and not a decent girl. Your purity is worth more than a $15 meal and a $12 movie ticket. Have confidence in your principles and predetermined choices about sexual activity. Let there be no misunderstanding your intentions or desires, and no second guessing your decision to remain chaste. Pay your own way to retain your independence if necessary, and always carry a cell phone or taxi fare so you can call someone or get yourself home if you need to.

To protect yourself from date rape...

KEEP A GOOD REPUTATION. Girls that have a reputation of sleeping around are more likely to be raped. Nearly 15 percent of respondents thought a woman would be partly responsible for being raped if she was known to have many sexual partners, and 8 percent believe that she would be totally responsible. Some common male perceptions include:

• She’s slept with other people, so she should sleep with me.

• We’ve had sex before, and she didn’t say no then.

These views are completely false, but the reality is that many people believe them and will act based on these assumptions. Do not allow yourself to be subject to peer pressure or encouraged to do something that you don’t want to do. Remember the only debt you owe is to God for saving your soul. You do not owe sexual favors to any man other than your husband (1 Corinthians 7:1–5) for any reason. Solomon said, “If sinners entice thee, consent thou not” (Proverbs 1:10). “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful” (Psalm 1:1).